I’ve noticed a major trend in the world of personal growth lately. The latest buzz word: self-love.

If you’ve jumped on board this self-love train, and you’ve found your way back to finding reasons and ways to love yourself, then bravo. Well done! Fill your own cup, then give to others from the overflow. We cannot give love to others if we are unwilling to first love ourselves.

But I have a beef with this whole notion, and to be quite frank, I think the self-love proponents are getting it all wrong (well-intentioned as they may be).

The truth is…you are not special.

We are all one and the same. Many pieces, cut from the same cloth. We are all part of the divine Whole, and are all here on this Earth taking part in the same journey. With the same goal. To get back Home.

Now, each of us is here with a distinct, God-given purpose. Each of us is following a different path — but all lead up the same mountain.

The trouble we have in loving ourselves has nothing to do with anything but this: We think we’re special. We think we’re separate from everyone and everything here on Earth. We forget that we are all made up of the exact same atoms, the exact same vibrating energy, as every other being on this planet. We forget that we are all connected, that the same life force moves through each of us, that the same Creator (no matter what we each call that Creator) is within each of us.

Instead of rejoicing that we’re all in this together, we let ego step in and muck it all up. We see lack in the world rather than the abundance that was given to us. We see competition and become jealous and petty and spiteful. We build walls to shield our hearts and lock out the love available to us — all the while, locking IN the fear that keeps us from fully living.

The only thing that keeps us from self-love is believing that we are special. That we aren’t deserving of the same rights and the same love and the same happiness as every other human on this planet. That we aren’t worth fighting for, standing up for, believing in ourselves. That we don’t have the same God-energy coursing through our being. That we don’t have access to the same level of Grace, to the same divine guidance, to the same unconditional Love.

We begin to see ourselves as flawed, as less than, as unworthy and — ultimately — unlovable.

Instead of fluttering about, trying to fill the void of self-love through bubble baths and new shoes and decadent desserts, what if we just got down to the heart of it all?

What if we were able to see the truth? That we aren’t separate from everyone else. That despite the many labels we may carry around with us (white, black, Christian, Buddhist, gay, straight) we aren’t actually any different from any other person we encounter through our day.

Not only would we find it very easy to give ourselves the same compassion, care and unconditional love we long for — we would also find it easy to give that same love to every other person on Earth.

xo,