Today’s post comes with a soundtrack. This song came on my Pandora station just as I started to write, so I thought I’d share it.
We all experience it from time to time. We feel uneasy, a disconnect, maybe a bit lost or forgotten. We wonder how we can go through life unseen, unnoticed, overlooked.
Our first reaction is to blame others. To point out how others are making us unhappy or unfulfilled. Look at the ways they fall short when relating to us, complain about how they make us feel.
We also withdraw. Close off to those we feel are at fault, retreat into self-pity while hoping against hope that they’ll see us. That they’ll reach out to us. That they’ll pull us back to them.
We ache inside, feeling hollow and alone.
When this happens, we think it’s because our partner isn’t paying enough attention to us. Or because they aren’t committed to us. Or because our boss can’t appreciate what we do. Or because potential clients don’t want to pay our prices. Or because our friends are too busy for us. Or because nobody see how truly fucking amazing we are, what great things we could do – if only given the chance.
This disconnect, this lost-ness, this is all because WE are overlooking us.
When you feel like your partner isn’t hearing you, it’s because you aren’t speaking up. You aren’t speaking your truth, authentically and vulnerably.
When you feel like your clients aren’t seeing you, it’s because you’re playing small, hiding in the shadows.
When you feel like your boss doesn’t value you, it’s because you aren’t willing to stand up and claim your own value. Own your worthiness.
When you feel like you’re being overlooked, it’s because you don’t see your own greatness. When you feel disconnect, it’s because you’ve disconnected from yourself. When you feel alone, it’s because you’re not recognizing yourself. When you feel lost, it’s because you forgot where home really is.
Everything you need is within you. It isn’t anyone else’s job to make sure you are seen, or heard or recognized. It’s nobody else’s responsibility to make you happy — in fact, it’s downright impossible. No matter how hard they may try, no one can MAKE you happy. (In fact, they can’t MAKE you feel anything…that’s YOUR choice.) If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody can ever make up for that. If you don’t want to be seen, whether it’s out of fear or a sense of unworthiness or whatever, you will never FEEL seen, no matter what anybody else does.
When you are able to come back to you, amazing things happen. You’re able to speak up for your needs and your desires. You can step into your purpose and serve the world. You start standing up for your own value and worthiness. You begin to realize that you are complete, you are whole, you are ALL you need. You stop looking to others — including your partner — to fill that space in your heart that is reserved for YOU, that only you can fill.
What do you feel today? What do you need? What void is nagging at you inside?
The bigger question — what can YOU do to fill that void? What can you gift yourself today to shift that feeling to one of enough-ness? How can you come back to you?