…when I really meant no.

 

How often do we find ourselves saying “yes” for all the wrong reasons? I know I’ve been very guilty of it, and I’m owning up to it.

 

For all the jobs I knew I shouldn’t take, but said yes anyways.

 

For all the work without compensation, all the favors, all the “quick help” I knew would drain me.

 

For all the times I felt obligated to help just because I’m capable of doing something, but my heart wasn’t in it.

 

For all the lunch dates and coffee meet-ups I really didn’t have the energy for, and ended up canceling or showing up late.

 

For all the times I said, “Sure, I can do that for you,” even as my stomach knotted.

 

I’m sorry I said yes.

 

I’m sorry to the people I left high and dry because I committed to something I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry to the friends who rolled their eyes every time I flaked out on them. I’m sorry to the clients whose jobs dragged out longer than they should have. I’m sorry to my family who often got the short end of the stick.

 

Most of all, I’m saying sorry to myself.

 

I’m sorry I didn’t listen when I knew I was betraying myself. When I felt like I was selling myself short, but said yes anyways. When I realized I would either have to compromise my own integrity — or sacrifice my sanity. When I ignored that gut feeling, nagging me to set boundaries and…respect them? Yeah, I sucked at that.

 

I got caught up — as we all do — in seeking approval, acceptance. I wanted to feel useful and needed. There was a part of me that felt obligated to help, like I would be a terrible person if I said no. Like it’s my JOB to do whatever anybody asks me.

 

Bullshit.

 

I know I’m not alone in this, so I’m going to let you in on the secret here. Because this applies to you, too, dear soul…

 

It’s my job to show up and serve…AT MY BEST. I can’t give my best if I’m prostituting myself out in twenty different directions. I can’t give my best if I’m constantly doing favors instead of getting paid, because then a huge chunk of my energy is wasted stressing out about bills and money. I can’t give my best if I’m accepting whatever scraps are being handed to me, because then I’m constantly searching for more scraps.

 

I can only give my BEST if I show up fully. If I dare to stand in my truth. If I listen to my intuition and say NO when I need to say no, I am free to say YES when I want to say yes. When I’m not pissing away my energy on obligations I never should have taken on, I become more powerful in my own purpose.

 

If I own up to my limitations in any one arena, I’m also setting myself free to be LIMITLESS in others. It’s a trade-off.

 

So, today, with you – my tribe – I am declaring my intentions. I invite you to join me.

 

I love and honor myself enough to see my own value.

I stand tall in my values and rely on my inner guidance to show me when to gently say no. I release inauthentic obligations from my life, and from those around me. I choose only to act on requests that are in alignment with my values, so that I may always show up AT MY BEST.

I am enough. I am loved and cherished for who I am, and I do not feel the need to prove my worth at the sacrifice of my own authentic voice.

 

Are you ready to say no? Are there energy-draining obligations sucking away your mojo right now? How can you lovingly release yourself from this cycle you’ve started?

 

xo,

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